Anthony Sarfino is still blogging i promise

hey everyone rest assured i’m still here doing my shitty blog.

this is what i’ve been up to:

being miserable at my fucking day job which i hate more than anything in the world, most of my free time is sleeping and smoking lots of cigarettes. i tried both at once, too dangerous.

the wedding is coming soon and im stressed as fuck.

im trying to write new stuff, but have so much negativity around me its not going as planned.

trying to design t-shirts and get ready to promote the big show july 11th more details tbd.

played golf.

still haven’t played hockey.

eating a lot of cereal.

watching the chicago blackhawks.

doing comedy shows have a lot of fun ones coming up including this one Curtains-Shadow

Go here http://www.anthonysarfino.com  then follow me on twitter here http://www.twitter.com/anthonysarfino

ps- big stupid post coming on sunday night. i pinky swear.

later alligators.

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at least i was somewhat productive

I didn’t blog yesterday because I felt like sleeping was a better choice, and once again I am not sorry.

Today is St. Patrick’s Day and I don’t give a shit.  I am not irish or religious so I really don’t care, sorry.  I do like to drink, and watch people make a mess of themselves however I have to be up at 5am tomorrow to go to a job that makes me want to cut myself, that place made me want to get stinking drunk today but I had a change of heart when I left.

I went out to shop for some hockey equipment this evening, I haven’t played in 6 years so I am completely out of touch with the technology and have gained about 40lbs since I’ve last played (im 210 now) since I’m a fat ass now I have no clue what size I am in anything so this going to be interesting, however the point of this experience is to lose weight we’ll see what happens.  I ended up only buying a stick and elbow pads tonight, however I am shopping online as we speak, I buying strictly clearance and closeouts to spend as less as possible.  I am excited though, I don’t get joy out of much in life anymore so this is kind of making me feel better about myself.  However I am sure i’ll be miserable about it when I realize how out of shape I am.

I will keep my word by posting video and pictures from these shenanigans.

I probably mentioned this but I am at The Improv in Schaumburg all weekend, I am looking forward to it.  Its an awesome room, and I’m glad I get to perform there on a regular basis.  The staff is fucking amazing and they do it right, they know how to make the comics comfortable and thats not something that happens at all clubs.  Its always pleasure to work that room.

Oh yea and I hate American Idol again.  It’s absurd.  My fiancee loves it though, she does watch the worst fucking shows ever.  I scold her for it constantly.  John & Kate plus 8, DWTS, Bridezillas, & etc… I don’t know they all make me want to vomit.  She can’t help it though.  It’s ok she’s still awesome in my book.

ok thats enough of my uninteresting thoughts.

later alligators

Danny Gokey does The Hokey Pokey.

So I think the bronchitis is on its way out, big deal I still hate myself and feel like shit as per usual.

I watched American Idol tonight, and I feel ok about it.  I usually just tune in to watch the audition process because we all know its hilarious, I know most of it is staged and the producers have a hand convincing the talentless trailer trash that they will be big stars on the TeeVee, regardless of that its hilarious.

I don’t care for many of the top 12, I mean 13 this year except for Mr. Danny Gokey.  I think he’s really talented, and very likeable,  especially considering the fact I like him and I hate just about everyone.  Not to mention he’s the best thing to come out of Milwaukee since Pabst Blue Ribbon. Like I said he really can sing, however dancing is not in his wheel house. I am really glad that my fiancee DVR’s this show for the simple fact that I can watch him dance around like a fool.  I think his poor dancing skills will in fact help the “Gokester” (I am claiming to coin that nickname) as it caused a pessimist like myself to take notice in a positive way.  However I did not vote.  So maybe it didn’t do anything at all…  Anyways, hopefully the AI voting public doesn’t fuck it up and they keep him around for a while.

Some other things I noticed while watching the show:

They have hispanic CostCo’s and there is karaoke in them Click Here

The blind guy still scares me, producers please make him wear sunglasses I know he can’t help it but its so off putting

Paula looked like she got shot with a tranquilizer gun or had a stroke right before the broadcast

Randy is just like Paula, he spews nothing but nonsense Dog

Anoop Desai is a weiner

Jorge Nunez’s head would be great for scrubbing my George Foreman grill

That’s how you keep it clean people.

later alligators

Can it get any worse?

Not that any of you care but I still have bronchitis.

I also drank the worst flavor Gatorade ever today, here it is:

32_tiger_tf_loose_tn2

Its part of the Gatorade Tiger Series, its called True Force.  It took some serious force for me to get it down, it tasted like blueberry at first but then it finished with a horrific melon taste.  Which reminded me of the “Fierce Melon” flavor, which most of us remember tasted like absolute shit.  As a golfer and a fan of golf I strongly believe that Mr. Eldrick “Tiger” Woods is a perfectionist and a man that believes quality is imperative, with that said I don’t believe that he tasted this flavor.  It’s fucking awful.  All fans of the Gatorade  family please stay away from this flavor, your taste buds will thank me.

I also believe that this being sick is a good time to quit smoking, however I’ve said that I’d quit numerous times, but I am on a good streak.  It’s been 6 days and I’m free of Vinyl Chloride, Urethane, & Nickel (some of the toxins as explained in those heinous “Truth” commericials).  I feel better when I wake up in the morning but I still crave those disgusting sticks of tobacco, we’ll see what happens.

Speaking of disgusting the new Dancing With The Stars premiered tonight, what a piece of shit that is.  Just another thing that America ripped off from the UK, I am willing to bet it is done better over there.  The casting producers did a great job I might add, Denise Richards, Holly Madison, & Steve-O.  Those are some quality humans, don’t want to forget Jewel’s (please fix your teeth, you don’t live in your car anymore) Rodeo Champion husband, seriously who gives a flying fuck I hate all of these people.  However I would love to see Lawrence Taylor snap someones limb on live TV a la Joe Theismann (watch video here).

There are others like me that hate it but oh well, I’m sure it will get killer ratings and it will give all the dead behind the eyes housewives something to look forward to week after week while getting drunk of shitty $4 wine from Trader Joes.

Also if anyone out there has the power,  please cancel John & Kate Plus 8, freakish child birth disgusts me.  I hate that your family gets all this free shit and a TV show just because of your abnormal ability to produce children in mass quantity.  I hate you.

In positive news:

Family Guy was fucking amazing last night, if you didn’t see it I suggest watching it on hulu.com.  If you don’t like Family Guy, I hate you.

Role Models comes out on DVD tomorrow, I’ve heard its amazing, I can’t wait to see it.

I am performing at Comedy Upstairs @ Fizz!  this Wednesday at 9PM 3220 N Lincoln Chicago IL, the line up is really solid its being hosted by the very funny Jack Calhoun & features my favorite comic in Chicago Marty DeRosa.  Its only $5 and there’s lots of solid drink specials, The Office isn’t on Wednesdays so you can leave your house.

later alligators

its about time

Well…

After the enormous amounts of complaints I’ve gotten from people about how the blog link on my website doesn’t work I’ve decided to blog.  For your information that blog option in the header was just for decoration, I didn’t actually think that anyone would click on it, thanks for making me.

Dicks…

I can’t promise that I will talk about anything interesting or insightful, unless you count the reviews of new Taco Bell menu items which can be quite informative. (I am also sure that my grammar will be poor)  However I will give this blog thing a fair chance, I will not give up on it like I have Facebook and MySpace (I just couldn’t get into all the bells and whistles and I just didn’t have the time to keep it up with it all)  Maybe I’ll come back one day, but for now this blog and twitter are simple enough for me.

So here’s whats been going on with me in the past few days…

I’ve been sick with bronchits which has made me more miserable than usual, I am now confident I can drink Michael Jordan under the table (gatorade) that is.  I stayed in bed all of Thursday & Friday and watched a lot of Maury Povich, and found out like many others “I was not the father” it was quite entertaining.  I played a lot of NHL 09 on XBOX 360, which I am prolific at.  I have a dynasty with the Blackhawks and I am 35-9-1-1 (on the hardest difficulty setting so suck it).  Yesterday I opened for a good friend of mine Rick March at Cigars & Stripes, I expected to have a horrible set in part to my illness but to my suprise it was pretty solid.  I was also a bit nervous as it was the first time I played that room, having heard stories from comics that the crowd can be pretty rough but I took control of the crowd from the start, plowed through 20 minutes of solid material & guzzling gatorade (lime rain), afterwards I stopped at Mr. Submarine drove home ate my Pastrami sub and went to bed.

Today my fiancee and I went to the Blackhawks game, and that was a shit show.  They lost, because they played like garbage.  Enough said.

Tomorrow I have to go back to my day job, which I hate with an absolute passion.  I wish I had a day job that would allow me to focus on comedy a little bit more, however with the state of the economy thats not an option.  My fiancee still hasn’t found anything since her lay-off and with our wedding approaching fast and mountains of bills I am strapped as it is.  However I am still working on my act, writing throughout the week and going over bits in my car, my apartment, trying them out at work, everything little thing I can do helps.  I am looking forward to this weekend, as I’ll be featuring at The Funny Bone in Bloomington, IL its one of my favorite rooms and I always have a good time there.

I think thats it for me tonight, I  am going to drink some Arnold Palmer half & half and play nhl 09 til my eyes burn.

later alligators